Impossibly at Ease
by MisforMerit
Summary: Snape and Harry grown together threw months of close encounters. OneShot/SLASH/HPSS/Snarry


As Harry sat on the opposite end of the couch, he glanced at Severus and thought about what had all taken place over these few months. All his life he'd never imagined being here in Snape's personal quarters, on his couch with a glass of wine in complete ease. But it wasn't because he didn't want this all to happen, he just never thought it would.

Everything began during there occulemency lessons. During this time Harry began to see a new side to Snape, a side that was identical to his own, a side that intrigued him immensely. How he and Snape were almost one in the same. Late in the night Harry would catch himself pulling out his Marauders Map watching the name Severus Snape pace in his office, wondering what he could be thinking about, or he would catch himself slowly turn to watch him during a meal in the great hall, only to meet the older mans eyes and look away. At first he found his curiosity frightening and bizarre, but after some time it became alluring. And the more Harry learned about Snape, he became comforted by the fact that for once, he was not alone in his hopes, fears and dreams, that Snape was no where near the greasy git he presumed him to be.

Of course his friend had been there, trying help him threw everything but sometimes that kind of love could only go so far and if anyone could understand Harry threw this all, he knew it was Snape.

And little did Harry know Snape was feeling the exact same way. Snape has also seen a new side of Harry, he'd learn to look past the name, the looks and really look at the bo- the man that he was. Snape began to feel relaxed in Harrys presence and when he was not around, he found himself curious and on edge about his whereabouts, something he would not have cared about only a few shorts weeks before. His feeling for Harry could only stay in denial for so long before they reached the surface And if anyone knew that his feelings towards Harry were wrong, it was himself. But for once in his life, Snape let his emotions take control, let them decide what in the end, would be best for him.

Harry couldn't remember when they had started using first names, or started enjoying each others friendly company late in the evening it had been going on so long. He also couldn't remember when they had both let down there guards enough to allow holding each other either. Harry couldn't remember a more peaceful time then sitting in Snapes corridors, even when it was silent. Harry considered this his alternate universe; when he stepped in this room, the rest of the world just didn't seem to matter anymore.

Nothing more had progressed, Harry never spent the night and Snape didn't change during class. But deep down (even without the looks of distress exchanged when Harry motioned to leave) they both knew they wanted more.

-o-

The fire was still light hours after Harry arrived. They sat in silence as Harry slowly curled into Snapes body and placed his head on his chest. He could hear his heart beat raise alittle as he settled. The hearth lite the room just enough to see the aging lines apon Severus face. Harry studied them careful then looked deep into his eyes, he could not tell what he was thinking, but he would have given anything to know.

As he watched him, Harry could not help but wonder what this man has seen and witnessed in his life. To volunteer himself to the dark lord, to perform all those tasks without a blink of an eye, to kill innocent people, to be called, to face the horror every time that mark throbbed, knowing that tonight could be the night it all ends. And as he lied in the arms of a Death Eater, he'd never felt so much respect and resentment for one person.

All these thoughts made him curious, of course he'd seen a dark mark, but he'd never _really _looked at one. He slowly moved his hand towards the clasps on the sleves of Snapes gown, watching his face almost seeking the mans approval and undid the buttons. He pushed the fabric up until the mark was completely visible. He was memorized by the permanent black ink sketched into the mans skin and as he stared, he knew he had to touch it. He moved his hand slowly over it at first, watching the older man flinch and even so, he knew he could not stop. He began to trace every line and every curve of the mark, almost unable to stop himself as Severus continued to watch the fire in front of them. The night continued like this, until Harry fell slowly asleep in Snape's arms.

And in this moment, Severus realized it would never get any better for him. He had already played all his cards and used all his good tiddings. He knew he would not find anyone else other then the one man lying in his arms, who could make him feel so impossibly at ease when he was his most vulnerable. It had been a very long time since Severus could learn to trust anyone with his thoughts like he trusted Harry. He also knew that this in his arms, as much as it was real, was also high unatainable. He, a Death Eater, to lay in the arms of the only man who could distroy someone who he'dmurdered for? What would people say, how would this all look?

Suddenly Harry shifted below him, moving his left hand across his chest, finaly clasping his robs and pulling closer. And in this moment everything was forgotten, it all was washed away like a wave to the ocean. He finaly decided that there would be no better time then now to whisper what had been on his mind since it had all began…

"_I love you, Harry_"

"_I love you too, Severus_"


End file.
